Ataturk

Is it just me or does everyone think ANZAC day becomes more important every year, as a chance to remind ourselves and our kids, where we have come from?

Australian soldiers have died all over the world, but Gallipoli was the battle which broke our hearts. It was also the battle which caused us to think about who we were.

Anzac Day celebrates that…but it’s also about reconciliation.

My favourite speech of all time is from General Kemal Ataturk, commander of the Turkish Forces who drove us out of Gallipoli…the architect of our heartbreak.

Ataturk later became a revered politician, his words at the close of hostilities are now engraved on the war memorial in Canberra.

He said, “You, the mothers who sent their sons from faraway countries, wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and at peace. After having lost their lives on this land, they become our sons too.”

Lunch anyone?

Is it just me or does everyone wonder what they should get their Mum for Mothers' Day?

What about lunch with me???

In a desperate attempt to make the next repayment on my self published by incredibly heartwarming and readable book, is it just me?, I am holding a (day before) Mothers' Day lunch in Maleny.

To book, just look to the right of this page - it's only little, but there's a click on thing there, for you to book!

Otherwise, you can call the restaurant directly, 54 94 3700.

Everyone who comes along gets a free signed copy of is it just me? But you know what? The details are on the clicky bit....just over there...>>>>>>>>>

xx

Teenage angst for parents!

Is it just me or does everyone feel happiest when their kids are at home, safe inside the family cocoon?

Do you also let your kids sit on my space and msn without supervision?

Because you know what that means – don’t you? It means your kid isn’t at home at all – they are out and about in the world, talking to people and reading material that you never knew they had access to.

It’s a tricky one. My son lives on my space, he doesn’t have a computer in his room, so I guess whatever he says he has to say in front of his sisters in the tv room – but John and I are actually at pains to NOT look nosy about what he writes. Of course, I'D LOVE to know who he’s talking to – and what he’s saying – but I don’t want to pry either. I always figured he has a right to privacy, that if he wants me to know something, he'll tell me.

Teen psychologist Michael Carr -Gregg says parents like me restrain themselves at their peril.

Two teenage girls killed themselves in the Dandenong ranges at the weekend. The evidence it was about to happen was all over their my space sites.

Why exactly they did it though, will probably never be known.

Michael Carr Gregg says no single factor can ever be said to cause suicide. Suicide, in most cases, is impossible to predict.

What we do know is that many young people who end their lives do suffer from depression and for that reason, all parents should know what to look for.

Kids particularly at risk include people who have lost someone important through death or separation, the recent suicide of a friend, breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend, trouble with school or the police, pregnancy, abuse and family conflict.

Many young people isolate themselves from family members – the trick for parents is to work out when this is caused by depression and when it’s just part of a kids personality.

Signs it’s depression include expressing feelings of hopelessness, a drop in their standard of school work and attendance, painting, drawing writing or talking about death or suicide, and giving away personal possessions.

And the most critical factor is when a kid has been sad or depressed for a long time – and then gets cheerful…apparently after kids make the decision to die, they finally stop worrying and begin to feel happy.

If you see these problems present for more than two weeks continuously, then see a GP and have your son or daughter assessed.

My space is not to blame for every thing – but it’s a worry too – who knows what kids are saying to each other, urging each other to do.

And kids, if you really want to read a depressing My Space – you should read what the mother of one of the dead girls posted on her daughter’s site overnight.

She wrote "There is nothing that couldn't have been sorted out. You were my only child and can never be replaced. Bye bye, my little girl."

Misunderstood?

Is it just or does everyone think the AFL tribunal looks pretty silly at the moment?

We were talking earlier this week about a horrible incident in Saturday’s West Australian derby that led to the suspension of Fremantle Dockers player Des Headland and the reporting of West Coast Eagle Adam Selwood.

No –one is disputing the fact that Selwood used the word slut, the only question appears to be whether he was referring to Des Headland’s six year old daughter Maddie, whose name and image are tattooed on her dad’s arm, or some other un-named ‘slut’ Des might have chosen to immortalise on his bicep.

Wes Coast successfully argued that Des Headland MISUNDERSTOOD Adam Selwood.

According to their lawyers, Selwood didn’t realise the tattoo he was referring to was Headland’s child, therefore, he was perfectly within his rights to call her a slut. And the tribunal agreed.

On behalf of all women, well done lads.

Defining moments...

Is it just me or does everyone wonder how the students of Virginia Tech will ever recover from the events of this week?

Staring into the face of a killer, watching your 76 year old professor sacrifice his life, taking bullets in exchange for precious seconds, just so you can escape out a window.

33 of your own, gunned down by one of your own.

The absolute loss of innocence for 26 thousand students.

It made me think about tragedies which shape your life. I thought about mine. When I was about 12, a young girl was stolen from her high school in the town of Collie about four hours away from my tiny town. A yellow panel van was seen at the school, just before the girl disappeared. Even in my town we were told to be on the lookout for a yellow panel van lurking around the school. I was terrified, we all were.

I guess the disappearance of Daniel Morcombe is a defining tragedy for thousands of kids on the Sunshine Coast.

My Mum says the shooting of JFK changed the way a lot of people saw the world.

If you Google the term defining tragedy, you'll find all sorts.

I guess it comes as no surprise that September 11 is the defining tragedy for most people in the western world. The event that changed the way we think.

The Holocaust was the defining tragedy of the 20th Century.The potato famine was the defining tragedy of Ireland.
For a lot of people, their defining tragedy could simply be their parents divorce.

We all have one, a thing that changed forever, the way they view the world.

The neat trick, is to learn from it. To think about why it happened and see what we can change to make sure it never happens again.

Portrait of a killer

Is it just me or does everyone wonder what you do with so called warning signs in young people?

After the event, there is so much evidence that Virginia Tech killer Cho Seung-Hui was troubled.

The 23 year old English major moved to America, from South Korea in 1992, when he was 8 years old. He was a US citizen.

His parents neighbours say they were a lovely family, always happy and smiling and very very kind.

Cho, on the other hand, was alarmingly reclusive.

His room mates at Virginia Tech said they slept three feet apart for almost a year, yet had exchanged no more than a few words.

19 year old room mate Joe Aust says Cho was always down loading music on the computer – all sorts – country, pop, rock – and if anyone spoke to him, he would simply ignore them.

He says Cho constantly played basketball alone, ate meals alone and shunned any attempts at friendship.

Cho killed 32 people yesterday, the first person he gunned down is believed to be a girl he was infatuated with. Early reports indicate no one can remember them having a relationship of any description.

Probably the most chilling news, is that after shooting the girl and her dorm master, while police investigated the killings and warned students to be on the lookout for anything unusual on the campus, Cho returned to his own room, where numerous people saw him wandering around in boxer shorts and a t shirt, putting on lotion in the bathroom, inserting his contact lenses. No one had any idea what he had just done, or what he was planning to do.

During that time back at the dorm, Cho sat down and wrote a seven page note in which he railed against, "rich kids, debauchery and deceitful charlatans".

He wrote: “You caused me to do this.”

An English professor has told the media, Cho was seen by the staff as ‘troubled’. She points particularly to one piece of creative writing which set off alarm bells in the staff. The essay was handed to counselling staff on campus – but had gone no further.

If some of Cho’s teachers were concerned, the students who should have known him better were simply puzzled by him.

He was certainly anti social and his silence was described as creepy, but everyone who knew him say they thought Cho was just strange. Never in a million years could they imagine him to be a killer so cold hearted, so angry that in the space of three hours, he would shoot his way into history.

Another day....

Is it just me or does everyone sometimes wonder what happened to the kids who they bullied at school?

Bullying is as old as time, it comes in all different guises. At my boarding school there was a girl that no-one ever spoke to. I mean it, if she asked a question I guess we’d answer – but only just.

One night when she was asleep girls drew all over her face in permanent marker, another time a girl offered to cut her hair and hacked it off at the back.

You know, I honestly couldn’t tell you what that girl ever did wrong – why she was so ostracised, but her school years must have been hell. And I am completely ashamed of my part in that.

Two boys from a nearby boy's boarding school committed suicide while I was at school. Both of them were bullied.

In the US state of Virginia this morning they are dealing with the worst school shooting in history.

At Virginia Tech, 33 people are reported dead and 28 are in hospital with gunshot wounds after a lone gunman opened fire on students in the engineering department. It’s almost 8 years to the day since the Columbine High School massacre of April 20th, 1999.

Apparently the gunman went first to a dormitory on the campus, shot one person and managed to get away. Police began investigating that shooting, but for some reason chose not to evacuate the campus until the gunman had been found.

Two hours later the gunman entered the engineering department, chained the doors closed and began shooting in each classroom.

America’s gun laws have got to come into question again. Surely without availability of semi automatic weapons, there is no way the death toll could be so high.

But what about the root cause? I think the most chilling thing I ever read about the Columbine shootings, came from a diary of one of the boys, written while he was planning the attack.

He wrote about the jocks who had made his life hell, the jocks he was planning to kill. He wrote with glee, that he knew people were not going to like what he did. Then he wrote something that will stay with me forever, he simply said, 'They started it.'

Building better boys...

Is it just me or does everyone think a dose of reality is a good thing for a teenager?

There was a great yarn in the Sunshine Coast Daily at the weekend about Andrew Johns* and his dad Gary.

Andrew was raised in Cessnock, in the New South Wales Hunter Valley. His dad was an underground coal miner, as was his grand father and his great grand father.

Neither Andrew Johns nor his older brother Matty were much chop at school (…big surprise there). They were good at footy – but not the best.

Gary Johns says when each of the boys was 15 he got special permission from the mine manager and took them underground.

He wanted the boys to understand that they lived in a mining community. Unless they worked very hard, unless they knuckled down at school or on the footy field, they would be expected to follow suit..

He says when took Andrew down in the dolly car they got to the tunnel mouth, about a kilometre underground and Andrew got a terrible fright. He says when Andrew saw how dark and dusty it was down there, he actually tried to jump out of the cage and had to be wrestled back inside.

Gary says the trip down the mine had a profound effect on both boys. He says there were probably young guys in Cessnock who were better players than Andrew and Matty – but they didn’t work as hard.

I love that story.



*For any overseas readers (and members of my family who are just not that into sport) Andrew Johns is an Australian Rugby League player, considered to be the best player ever to set foot on a rugby league field.

Country boy, done good. Retired last week as the highest points scorer in Australian first grade premiership history with 2,176 points. If that's not enough info...google him yourself!

Paraskevidekatriaphobia

Is it just me or does everyone want the day off today?
Not just because I’m slack either.

Seriously, I think I might be suffering a little paraskevidekatriaphobia. That’s right, paraskevidekatriaphobia.

I went to school with a girl whose grandma suffered paraskevidekatriaphobia, which meant Suzanne, nor anyone in her family had to go to work, school or uni on Friday the 13th. Their Grandma wouldn’t let them drive, go to the shops or even jump in the pool.

And you know what? Suzanne’s Grandma wasn’t as silly as she looked.
On the internet I found a study published in the British Medical Journal in 1993 entitled "Is Friday the 13th Bad for Your Health?"

The study aimed to map "the relation between health, behaviour, and superstition surrounding Friday 13th". Its authors compared the ratio of traffic volume to the number of automobile accidents on two different days, Friday the 6th and Friday the 13th, over a number of years.

Incredibly, they found that in the region sampled, while consistently fewer people chose to drive their cars on Friday the 13th, the number of hospital admissions due to vehicular accidents was significantly higher than on "normal" Fridays.
Their conclusion:
"Friday 13th is unlucky for some. The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52 percent. Staying at home is recommended”

Do you need me to repeat that? Staying at home recommended.

On the subject of Friday the 13th, there are some amazing superstitions. For instance, did you know followers of the occult believe if 13 people sit down to dinner together, all will die within the year. They also say if you have 13 letters in your name, you’ll have the devil’s luck. Count them, Jack The Ripper, Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer. My maiden name is Terry, by the way, I’ll let you do the maths.

School lessons...

Is it just me or does everyone wonder about co-incidence?

The new director-general of NSW Education, Michael Coutts-Trotter, is causing quite a stir….23 years ago, when he was 19, he was jailed for three years for heroin trafficking…he admits he was a heroin addict at the time.

When he was released from Jail he joined the Salvation Army Drug Rehabilitation Program and got a university degree. He’s basically worked for the government ever since.

It’s a pretty remarkable story of someone who has turned their life around. The DG‘s job is worth about 300 thousand dollars, an amazing example for others to follow. Some people, however, are questioning whether a convicted drug trafficker is the right person to be the director general of schools?

The NSW Teachers Federation says teachers believe in rehabilitation, but it’s interesting, because Michael Coutts Trotter actually couldn’t get a job as a teacher.
It’s a co-incidence the debate is taking place today, the day after a police raid on a private school in Melbourne.

I think most parents want to know, exactly how widespread is the drug problem in our schools? We know drugs are there, they’ve probably been in schools for forty years. But exactly how exposed are our kids? And do we need to do something about it?

There are people in New South Wales who think Michael Coutts-Trotter is not the style of person they want running state schools…but not me. I’m a big believer in redemption, I think his life story is incredible and maybe…just maybe…. His experience makes him exactly the type of person we need running our schools.

Poor little rich girl...

Is it just me or does everyone hope that Larry Birkhead proves them very wrong?

A court ruling this morning has named Photographer Birkhead as the biological father of Anna Nicole Smith’s seven month old daughter Dannielyn.

It was quite a race to the finish. Larry Birkhead put up his hand as soon as Dannielyn was born, claiming to be her father.

At the time though, Anna Nicole denied that, naming her dodgy lawyer Howard K Stern as father on the birth certificate.

Since Anna Nicole’s death Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband has also said he could be the father of the baby. At one stage someone even suggested that the long dead oil tycoon who initially shot Anna Nicole to fame could be the father.

Despite this mornings ruling, Anna Nicole’s gold digging mother Virgie is still fighting for custody (she obviously did such a great job of turning Anna Nicole into a happy well balanced adult…why not give her a crack at a new generation…)

What a selection of guardians for that poor little baby to choose from!

It’s a terrible thing for a baby to lose it’s mother, even worse when there is a lot of money at stake and people are forced to question the motive of those clamouring for custody.

It’s estimated that Anna Nicole’s estate could eventually be worth around 83 million dollars US. Is Larry Birkhead allowed to change his daughters’ name by deed poll?

Meal Ticket has a nice ring to it…

Kids say the....

Is it just me or does everyone love the things kids say?

I’m hopeless – I always forget this stuff but a lady called Trisha sent me a great email over the weekend about things she has heard…

Like the three year old watching his mother breast feed and asked why she had two breasts, he said "Is one for hot and one for coldmilk?"

Or the three year old who kissed his Mum goodnight and said "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

Or four year old Brittany who was caught trying to get the lid off a medicine bottle, her Mum said, you can’t do it, it’s child proof, and Brittany said, "How does it know it's me?"

Or four year old Tammy who saw an old lady with a lot of wrinkles and said, "Why doesn’t your skin fit on your face?"

But I think my favourite is the little girl who went to church with her grandma…the minister extended his arms toward heaven and said..."Dear Lord, without you, we are but dust..." And out of the pews, loud and clear, came, "Grandma, what's butt dust?"

Gang rape. Again.

Is it just me or does everyone wonder what we’re doing to our young boys?

I know it's a bit doom and gloom, but I’ve got a teenage boy, as a community we need to have this conversation.

What kind of men are we raising?

Five teenage boys have been arrested in Sydney after a 17 year old girl was brutally raped.

The rape happened back in January – the victim was drunk and possibly drugged. She had no recollection of what had taken place, until she discovered her rape had been filmed on mobile phones, then circulated to her school friends.

Yesterday, three boys appeared in court, all were refused bail. The other two face court today.

The police painted a chilling picture of the assault, alleging the victim was fed alcohol and maybe drugs until she was paralytic, then assaulted and mocked by her attackers.

Those not taking part in the rape can be heard in the background high fiving and encouraging the boys to continue.

The girl, highly intoxicated, can be seen trying to fight them off.

She was found by her mother the next morning, still unconcious, dumped on the lawn outside her own house.

I think the most depressing part of that story is the boys complete lack of remorse. And the role hundreds of others had to play in forwarding and applauding the attack after it was circulated on mobile phones.

Someone raised those boys. Someone taught them that little girl didn't matter.

I’ve said this before, it is time to look around, to look at our sons and ask ourselves what their values are.

Are your boys’ kind? Generous? Do they think about the needs of other people? Are they brave? Do you trust them to do the right thing?

Would your son stand up for the drunk girl being filmed? Would he drag her out of the bedroom and call a taxi? Would he delete footage of a rape from his mobile phone, or better still, show it to the police?

Look at your son. Ask yourself if he’s that kind of boy? Because that’s the type of man we need him to be.

Why I'm not rich...

Is it just me or does everyone wish they were a little more scroogy?

I’m not very good at saving money, and if interest rates go up again today I am going to have to learn how.

I don’t know how far I’m prepared to go though.

I know a bloke who used to steal toilet paper from work, which is expecially bad when you know he worked for Vic Rail, the state run rail network in Victoria, trust me, it's not like they were boasting the good stuff!

John’s cousin told me recently that she pays to go to the movies once and then stays there all day, just going from cinema to cinema! As one movie finishes she just pops next door to see what’s playing there…

I have an uncle that once asked for a doggy bag for somebody elses food – I’m not joking! At a restaurant he noticed someone at a work function hadn’t finished there food – he said, "Are you going to eat that?" Then asked the waitress to wrap it up! It wasn’t even his!

My friend was asked on a date with a guy from her work. It was a first date, and he pulled out the shopper docket. I had only one piece of advice, GET OUT NOW!

Cross you fingers for the interest rates!!!

Toy tales

Is it just me or does everyone think our politicians should be careful how they grab a headline?

Yesterday Queensland’s Police Minister Judy Spence called on hospitals and charities to stop accepting toys from outlawed bikie gangs.

She said criminal bikie gangs run their annual toy runs in an effort to present an air of respectability – and she criticised the media for legitimising the toy runs through positive publicity. Is that true? Are the Rebels and the Coffin Cheaters really running a bras for breast cancer event this year?

Mix FM participates in the Ullysses Motor Cycle club toy run, every Christmas, and the last time I checked, this group of fine upstanding citizens wasn’t running drugs and guns between times.

I am no fan of outlawed bikie gangs – I think they are violent cowards with Mummy issues and I wish Ms Spence all the luck in the world putting them out of business, but in NO place that I’ve EVER lived have these groups been running toy drives.

Ullysses Motor Cycle club on the other hand is a group of warm caring law abiding citizens….who happen to like motorbikes.

I think being a politician is a tough gig and I’m usually loathe to criticise them, but Come on Judy! That gaff was not only ungrateful and insulting to a generous caring group of people but I think it made you look like a complete dill.

And I got this reply....From a guy called Ray


Caroline,on "Is it only me" this morning I heard critisism of the Outlaw Bikers for giving toys to underprivilaged children, this is done for no reason other to repay a grattitude for the toys many of them recieved a lifetime ago.I am one of the organisers of The Daniel Morcombe Ride, on the 2004 & 2006 ride these 'Outlaws' turned up in their hundreds to support the Leave Our Kids Alone message.Angels they may not be,but what you see is what you get, under suit you just dont know what's there, what I can tell you is if I was a young mother and my child was in distress, I'd go for the Black Leather everytime, and I guarantee you that your child would be safely back with you, and the person responsibe for your distress, would be tucked up in bed and learning to enjoy Hospital food through a straw.