All out of cool....

Is it just me or was everyone very cool until last week?

That’s right, I used to be cool. Very young too. According to a study of mobile phone usage, people who use Motorola mobile phones are under 24 and very fashion conscious. Yeah baby! Apparently that was me, until my daughter Milli dropped my Motorola last Saturday.

I was pretty calm about it at the time too. Obviously I just hadn’t considered the social ramifications!

Now, (I think) I have a Nokia 1100, seriously the oldest mobile still talking to the mobile network. Decidely uncool.

Sony Ericsson handsets are apparently favoured by ambitious young men trying to make their mark; LGs are tops with mums; while Samsungs are wielded by young women focused on their career.

Apparently carrying a Nokia means you are a family-minded, middle-aged manager. Either that, or you’re just too lazy to go the mobile phone shop.

Another new survey has found a third of women think they are too fat to ever appear naked in front of their partners.

Personally, I’m all for a little nudity in the comfort of your own home (are early morning dashes to the clothes line considered your own home by the way?).

While I understand the point of the survey was probably to highlight the tragic fact that 33% of girls have been convinced by stick thin models and digitally slimmed celebrities to keep their kit on, just quietly, I think my kids (and probably my husband too) are wondering what it will take to get me to join them.

David Hicks

Is it just me or does everyone think the federal government would be very nervous about the outcome of David Hicks controversial military tribunal?

David Hicks has been detained for more than five years, the bulk of that time at Guantanamo Bay.

Until this morning he had not formally been charged with anything,

There are many detainees at Guantanmo Bay – there were British citizens there too – but two years ago the Blair Government secured their release, intervening on the basis that the US had no right to detain Britons without charge.

The Australian Government failed to act similarly on David Hicks behalf. Today, finally, he was formally charged with supporting terrorism.

The US government allegedly underwent training at an al-Qaeda camp in Kandahar, Afghanistan and volunteered to fight alongside Taliban forces during the US-led invasion.

The charge sheet does not allege Hicks fired on US troops or attacked a US target, but says he conducted surveillance on the abandoned US embassy in Kabul and met Osama bin Laden as well as accused "shoe bomber" Richard Reid.

Previous charges of attempted murder, conspiracy and aiding the enemy have been dropped.
Hicks' defence lawyers say that move shows US authorities have no case against their client.

No cameras were allowed in the court room today but reports have told us that while David Hicks was clean shaven, his hair is chest length. He uses his hair to block the constant light in his cell at Guantanamo Bay.

Just imagine that for a second.

He is kept in 24 hour isolation…in constant light. That’s what his life has been like for more than three years. Before that he was subject to constant beating and interrogation.

I want to hear David Hicks story. I am not a complete bleeding heart, people died on September 11. If David Hicks was a key mastermind in that, then maybe he has got what he deserved.

But if David Hicks was a bit player who, as I suspect, was a nobody, a none too smart kangaroo skinner was Adelaide who was looking for adventure, who suddenly found himself on the wrong side, come September 12….then I think the Australian government has failed a basic test, to protect it’s citizens.

Incredible....

Is it just me or does everyone fear losing a child more than anything?

I heard a story over the weekend – probably the most amazing story I have ever heard.

Apparently it happened to a Sunshine Coast family.

Two months ago a family of six, four young kids, went to Seaworld.

At some point during the day the youngest of the family went missing for two hours. Everyone was frantic, with staff, security, everyone searching for the boy.

When he was found, he was soaking wet. Hair wet – back pack wet – completely soaked…with no sign of injury…but he was absolutely silent…wouldn’t respond to any questions just wouldn’t speak.

Eventually, his parents decided to just go home…on the way home…silence.

No amount of gentle coaxing or cuddles would help…

Obviously…because he’d been missing for two hours – his parents were quite distraught…

When they got home – the little boy went straight to his room…

The Mum told the rest of the family – stay here – just let me go in and talk to him…

She goes to his room – opens the door and there is her little boy – lying in bed, with a penguin.

He’d got in a pool and shoved a penguin in his back pack…


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Yes, apparently it's an urban myth - but Jeepers, it's a good one!!!!

To test or not to test?

Is it just me or is everyone a little ambivalent about civil liberties?

There’s a lot of talk about drugs in sport this week.

Former West Coast Eagles captain Ben Cousins has reportedly entered re hab after being suspended indefinitely by his football club.

The drug of choice at West Coast is apparently ICE, the cheap, synthetic, highly destructive methamphetamine.

This morning I spoke to former Wallaby Peter FitzSimons - who is passionately anti drug testing of sports people for recreational drugs. Peter claims no employer, be it sporting coaches or radio station managers has the right to know what a person gets up to on a Saturday night.

He says Ben Cousins has a right to exorcise his demons without the added pressure of public scrutiny over recreational drug use.

I disagree. I am not advocating constant testing. Not at all.

But if a player or a politician or an employee’s performance falls below par…if, like Ben Cousins, a person in your employ is found outside a nightclub acting paranoid and behaving in a manner that is a danger to themselves(and doesn’t turn up for work on Monday), then I think the employer – no matter who they are has the right to demand a drug test.

And so we come to the subject of Mark. Mark has refused a drug test this morning, despite some pressure from our Program Director.

I would like to go into bat for Mark – I don’t think he’s got anything to hide – he just doesn’t think he’s done anything to warrant a test. And fair enough.

If his behaviour was more erratic than usual, which it’s not folks – this is him… then I would feel differently…but what do you think

Think Slim!

Is it just me or does everyone want to think slim?

We have had a hypno-therapist in the studio this morning.

Mark Stephens has written a book called think slim – it’s not about shakes or starvation or pills – it’s about changing the way you think about food.

I lost a fair bit of weight last year, via a reality tv show 'Overhaul' on channel 9. I lost about 13 kilos in all – needed to lose another 8 probably. Instead, surprise surprise, I have managed to find a couple of the ones I lost. I find it very hard not to eat.

Last night at netball my friend Cath said, "I’ve been really hungry today" I said, "What do you mean today?" My whole life seems to revolve around convincing myself NOT TO EAT!

I have another friend who claims sometimes she looks up and it’s three o’clock and she has to make herself go and eat something – she’s constantly forgetting about food.

If I were EVER prevented from eating until three in the afternoon (because I’d trapped by a gunman in a ten hour siege – in a house without a kitchen) I would no doubt immediately reward myself with a slab of lasagne. Mmmm Lasagne.

But not anymore! Through the power of suggestion, Mr 'Think Slim' Mark Stevens has stuck a couple of mantras in my head – 'the more you drink the more you shrink' 'In between meals I drink water or tea…in between meals I remain snack free…'

Along with Lisa, Kaye, Pauline and Dennis, four listeners who agreed to be hypnotised with me, I am hoping to turn my food fetish around.

Being hypnotised was weird – I felt completely conscious. Mark Stephens made me as stiff as a board, my head was on one chair and my feet were on the other with nothing to support me in between. I thought I was under for a couple of minutes – it was more like ten – and as soon as I woke up I felt really thirsty.

I had a cup of coffee on the desk and I couldn’t finish it – I went and made a herbal tea and got a big water.

So you never know…

The shots of me under hypnosis are going on the station website – www.theradio.com.au -we’ve taken photos of our hypnotised listeners…and we’ll follow up in a month to see if anyone has managed to lose weight…

If you want to find out more, Mark Stephens will hold a free seminar at Caloundra RSL tonight at 6. Or try www.thinkslim.com.au

Whose idea was it to have children?

Is it just me or does everyone think the government needs to do something about the cost of kid's sport?

I have three children and we’re pretty passionate about our kids taking part in team sport.

Between them, this term alone, our kids play netball, rugby, touch footy, volleyball and swimming. Our kids aren’t sporting champions, not at all – we just like to keep them moving.

The government wants them moving too – I don’t think obesity in Australia is so much about food…it’s about being a couch potato.

As committed as John and I are to kid's sport, the beginning of each term is a hell time for us – because all the fees come in at once! And we’re a two income family! We are not struggling for money.

If it’s difficult for John and I to pay for kid's sport, then I refuse to believe that there are not families out there – hundreds of families – whose children are excluded from team sport altogether.

And this is not about the committees. I couldn’t appreciate the work of volunteers more – I’m no expert, but I think it’s about insurance and in some cases fees to the federal body. Just quietly, I don’t think eight year olds playing soccer in Palmwoods should be funding the Socceroos in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM!

As for insurance, I think that umbrella insurance should be possible. Couldn’t the government set up a scheme where every kid who wants to play team sport pays one fee, once a year, to cover all the sport they play?

Let me know if you have any ideas!

Rebel rebel!

Is it just me or does everyone love a little childhood rebellion?

My friend Mark told me this morning that when he was a kid he was booted out of the Sea Scouts for insubordination….

Of course it wasn’t his fault

I mean I’m pretty sure being the parent of the rebellious child is no fun at all – but geez they make for great stories at your 21st.

I’ve told you about my big brother 'Herb' before – at our tiny little primary school – he had three or four mates – and they were a pretty likely group of lads.

Mum and Dad got called to the school when he was at the end of grade seven – and the principal suggested boarding school. Very strongly. He wasn’t expelled – as my Mum is at pains to point out – but the local high school wasn’t waiting with open arms either…

I’ve been kicked out of a few things – but probably my finest hour was when I was kicked out of training for confirmation.

It’s a Catholic thing – when at about the age of 12 you confirm that you’re interested in staying with the church – symbolically, you choose a new name, more particularly, a saints name.

Traditionally, girls go for Mary or Theresa or maybe Catherine.

But I was adamant - I wanted to be Valentine. C'mon, I was 13! I thought Valentine was the coolest saint around. Unfortunately, but perhaps not surprisingly, Sister Paula didn’t agree and sent me home to have a good hard look at myself. Obviously, since I was a fairly militant 13 year old, I went home, chatted to my friends and got all fired up. It was my confirmation! I could have any name I wanted! Surely it was just between me, God and St Valentine and nothing to do with Sister Paula!

Instead of going back with an alternative – I went back with an argument. And got booted out of the confirmation group. Sr Paula wasn’t a fan of reasoned argument from 13 year olds…

Subsequently, I was the old confirmant in the history of the world – I was fourteen by the time I got the job done – and I chose the name Joan – for Joan of Arc…because she was a rebel too.

Bloody Joan Jett!

Is it just me or does everyone want another turn at the 1980’s?

I told you the other day, I turned 12 in 1980 and had my 21st in 1989, so I feel like I own the 1980’s – it is my decade.

It’s been a bit of an eighties week at 92.7 Mix fm…we’ve been trolling through songs as the votes rolled in for the ugly 80's and absolutely every one of them means something to me…

Joan Jett got a few votes – and transported me straight back to the August school holidays of 1982, when my mum and dad’s caravan park was full to the brim…

I was crazy in love with Sean Keys… a blonde haired blue eyed Perth boy who I think I loved for about four years!!!

Anyway, one particular day when my friends Marnie and Susan and I were hanging out in the on site van mum and dad let us stay in, Sean’s friend Wayne knocked on the door of our ancient Millard and asked Marnie to go outside with him.

Wayne was a special envoy for Sean, apparently. He asked Marn if she was sure I liked Sean. If she had any proof.

Marn was emphatic, in fact, (being the GREAT friend that she is) she explained I had been on the trampoline that very day singing, “I love Sean Keys, so put another dime in the duke box baby…”

Wayne was very pleased with the information (you bet he was!!) and Marn was very equally pleased with herself! She told me excitedly that she had sorted it, we were good to go! The plan was to meet at the barbeque’s that night and you never know, I might be about to have my first ever pash with SEAN KEYS!!!!….

I was so excited (flicked my flicks a little more flicky, donned the white court shoes) that night….and we headed for the bbqs!

And what do we hear? Over the din of aluminium plates being washed in camp buckets? Over the rumble of fisherman chatting away as they scaled their catch over a beer? Over the screech of mothers’ trying to round up dirty kids and herd them toward the ablutions blocks? We hear 10 fourteen year old boys howling “I love Sean Keys…so put another….(hilarious laughter..)” You get the picture….

I don’t think I have ever been more embarrassed in my life. Seriously. So I turned and went home. No holiday pash for me. Bloody Joan Jett. xx

Hard to get good help!

Is it just me or does everyone love to see a nasty person publicly shamed?

Trudie Styler is a film producer, she is also famous for being married to Sting. I’ve seen her interviewed a few times and she is all tantric sex and getting in touch with her spirituality.

This week however, Trudie has been in tears over allegations from her former chef Jane Martin that she's a "tyrant" who subjects her staff to abuse in order to "feel royal",

Meanwhile, Madonna has discovered that an ex-nanny is trying to pocket six million dollars for a "sensational" below stairs book about life with the singer. Surprise surprise, turns out it’s no bed of roses working for Madge either.

I know there will be a lot of people who deplore this type of disloyalty, but I don’t.

There was a time when staff knew their place, sure, that was also the good old days when people like Naomi Campbell could belt their housekeepers over the head with a mobile phone and expect her to pick up a mop and get back to work.

I heard a statistic this week that phenomenally successful people, like company CEO’s and people who make it in showbiz are borderline psychopaths with too little time on their hands.

Apparently studies show that company CEO’s exhibit a lot of the traits of serial killers…it’s all about power…and I think most people have seen it in their travels.

It’s no big stretch to imagine Trudy Styler and Madonna are a little high maintenance.

I call it progress. Nowadays, staff employed to do domestic work know their rights and are savvy enough to recognise that if they’ve been treated badly, there's a vast audience out there, hungry for a bit of upstairs downstairs drama. And I say BRING IT ON!

Connor Blythe

Is it just me or does everyone wonder what it is that makes a hero?

There is a story in the Herald Sun newspaper today about a 10 year old Victorian boy called Connor Blythe.

84 days ago on December 20 Connor was walking his younger sister Erin home from the school bus stop on a quiet road, when he suddenly heard a car roaring up behind them. Instead of jumping clear, as Connor turned and saw the car he reached for his sister and pushed her clear, taking the full force of the impact himself.

His broken femur, smashed elbow and fractured pelvis, have healed, but Connor lies in what is described as a minimally conscious state, unable to move or make any sounds, despite the fact he is fully concious of everything going on around him. Doctors don't know if his recovery will extend past blinking.

At Christmas time Connors parents were asked to make a decision about life support.

Connor’s dad Ray flatly refused to turn it off. He said, "He's earned the right to a life, the best quality life we can get for him. We'll cross every bridge Connor needs to cross. Those he can't cross, we'll carry him over.

"I've sat here on my own, hours at a time over the last 84 days talking to him, and he talks back with his looks.

"You ask him how he is and he blinks. I say 'you know that your dad loves you' and he blinks again.”

"Will I get my bright, active boy back? Probably not, but he is still my son.”

You can write to Connor on the net if you want to. I wrote to him this morning told him that even though he’s only ten he’s got a lot to teach the whole of Australia about love. I told him that even though he’s not my kid, I’m proud of him too.

If you want to write to Connor go to www.news.com.au and click on the Herald Sun.

Ugly 80's!

Is it just me or does everyone love an ugly 80’s shocker?

On Friday, my radio station 92.7 Mix FM is going to play 80’s shockers all morning. The only problem is, I don’t know if the breakfast show is long enough to get them all in.

I was very cool in the 80’s…very cool.

There was no Kylie and Jason or Shakin’ Steven’s in my single collection – although I might have bought Careless Whisper…now I think about it.

I loved the 80’s – I turned 12 in 1980 and had my 21’st birthday party in 1989. So I actually own the 1980’s.

I own a Country Practice, Neighbours, Sons and Daughters and Perfect Match…

I own The A Team, The Cosby Show, and All the Rivers Run – in fact I own Sigrid Thornton and John Waters.

I own pale pink studded belts, white court shoes and Ken Done t shirts…

I own plastic earrings in the shape of Australia, spiral perms and stirrup pants with socks and boots.

I own the caravan park at Summer Bay, Kevin Bacon and the entire America’s Cup Carnival.

I own B and S Balls, wayfarer sunglasses and taffeta formal dresses with leg o mutton sleeves.

I own the Flowers in the Attic books, hair combs, flicks and double skating to Total Eclipse of the Heart and I own Lady Di, Alan Bond and Tammy Fay Baker…


Some of the songs getting votes so far…

My favourite is Charlene, Never Been to Me..

But what about Juice Newton?

Patrick Swayze, She’s like the wind…

Ron Moss in Player singing Baby Come Back..

Pass the Dutchie… Musical Youth

That clapping song, remember that? I think it was by Belle Star…

Pilot of the Airwaves…

Kajagoogoo - Too Shy

Haysi Fantayzee - Shiny Shiny

Agadoo – Black Lace

Bucks Fizz – Makin’ you Mind Up

The Nolan Sisters – I’m in the mood for Dancing

The Green Door - Shakin’ Stevens

Escape - The Pina Colada Song - Rupert Holme

Life is precious!

Is it just me or does everyone think in the modern world some doctors need reminding of the first rule of medicine, to do no harm?

There’s a terrible story out of Italy this morning, where doctors are struggling to save the life of a 500 gram baby boy wrongly aborted after hospital tests misdiagnosed a deformity.

Apparently, the child’s mother chose to abort, after tests showed her baby had a defective oesophagus, a very serious – correctable - condition.

Tragically, when the fetus was aborted, heart still beating, doctors realised the child was perfectly healthy and rushed to resuscitate him.

Weighing just half a kilogram, the baby suffered a brain haemorrhage during the abortion and doctors doubt he will survive.

I think it’s worth mentioning again – even if that baby was born with a deformed oesophagus, even if he wasn’t perfect, his condition could have been surgically corrected. It would have been a tough start to life no doubt but surely worth the fight. Doctors however, recommended the mother dispose of her child.

It’s not just important for doctors to remember – for everyone – life is precious, do no harm.

Peel me a grape!

Is it just me or has everyone noticed how much stuff you have to do yourself these days?

I am not a fan of the self serve. Not at all.

Remember those restaurants and pubs that used to make you cook your own steak? I hated them. I hate all self serve.

I even get cranky when I have tear apart my own porridge sachets in the morning. Surely with all those machines and staff at the porridge factory they could get that little job done?

Therefore, I’m giving fair warning to supermarket operators planning to do away with checkouts. Have you seen this on the news?

Apparently they’re planning to make you scan your own groceries, put them in a bag then operate the credit card machine yourself! Trust me, if that’s the way you’re going Senor Woolworths, I won’t be buying from you.

In fact, if you really want my business, bring back the man in an apron weighing my flour and walking it out to the car for me. Seriously, I’ve had enough.

Even watching TV is hard work these days. Ring us if you’ve got a good story, email us your video footage, vote to keep your favourite person in the show. Aren’t the TV workers supposed to make those decisions? I thought I was just there to watch.

I what mean if people wrote who in newspapers you decipher made sentences yourself? It just wouldn’t work, would it?

Next week is Foster and Kinship Carers week in Queensland. And we need your help.

Tonight, 6200 children will spend the night out of their homes, because for some reason, they are not safe in their own beds. 6200. And we are desperately short of foster carers.

I used to go out with a boy who had a foster sister. Emily was nine and her Mum was a druggie. Whenever her mum went on a bender, Emily went to Matthew’s house.

Sometimes she’d just spend Saturday cooking cakes with Matt’s lovely hippy Mum, sometimes she’d call in the night because her Mum was passed out and sometimes, happily, Matthew didn’t see Emily for ages.

Emily had a mother who loved her, Matt’s family was just the support crew.

It doesn’t matter who you are, there’s an Emily on the Sunshine Coast who needs you too.

Call IFYS – 5438 3000

I hear the Dalai Lama's Australian tour in June will include a visit to the nation's spiritual capital, our very own Crocoseum.

The exiled Tibetan leader will be at Australia Zoo to launch Kindness Week, designed to promote harmony between man and the environment. I can’t think of anything funny to say about that, but I am planning to be there.

Women's Day!

Is it just me or is everyone sometimes a little perplexed about International Women’s Day?

I think Australian women sometimes fall into the trap of congratulating themselves a little too much…I sometimes laugh about workshops and lunches for women to talk about being parents and working.

You don’t see men sitting around patting themselves on being a father and holding down a job…

And I’m not anti feminist – not at all – I am very proud and grateful to every suffragette and bra burner – I’m even appreciate of Germaine Greer!

But to a certain extent their work here is done…I don’t think women in Australia have too much to complain about anymore..

It’s not like the middle east, where there are still countries that don’t record the birth and deaths of women…where women can’t hold a drivers licence for even go to school. I think women in Australia are doing alright.

So, I’m not going to have a whinge about women’s rights…instead I want to talk about our responsibilities. The need for women in Australia to make the most of what we’ve got.

I was thinking today about my own future and wondering what I’m going to do with it. We should all do that every now and then.

After years and years away away from the wards raising kids, my Mum went back to uni and re-registered as a nurse.

I know a lady who always wanted to learn to play the violin but had never been given the opportunity.

Six years agao, at the age of forty five, she enrolled in music lessons and she nows plays ina string quartet in Melbourne.

My grandmother wrote her first book when she was in her late sixties.

I met a girl at lunch recently, her name is Catherine and she just lost about 40 kilos and competed in the Noosa Tri – amazing – incredible. Definitely worth celebrating.

Girls can do anything, but it’s important we never run out of ideas…
Have a great International Women’s Day.

Mid life crisis anyone?

Is it just me or does everyone fear the mid life crisis?

Mix FM premiered the John Travolta movie wild hogs last night…with Travolta, Tim Allen, William H Macy and Martin Lawrence all living out their mid life crises on the back of Harley Davidsons.

I looked up mid life crisis on the net – it’s apparently an emotional state of doubt and anxiety in which a person becomes uncomfortable with the fact their life is probably half way done.

The condition usually hits between the ages of 35 and 50, and affects men and women differently. Mid life crises last about 3-10 years in men and 2-5 years in women, but length may vary in some people.

I have seen a few beauties played out. My cousin got a nose ring for her fortieth birthday – her husband took up road racing on his bike and died his hair Billy Idol white at 50 – and no – it didn’t look very good – still doesn’t five years later.

My dad bought a bigger boat….Michael Douglas left Diandra for Catherine Zeta Jones…

John's sister Jan (and I hope she's reading this) just bought a convertible...very cool.

I don’t think I’ve had my crisis yet but they say the people most likely to suffer the crisis are those who married early – and I married when I was 20 so I'm a good chance. And when it happens, I'm not ruling out a motor bike being involved.

I mentioned getting motor bike licences to John recently...I don't think we were on the same page with that...but I'll let you know how I go. xx

A lovely surprise!

Is it just me or does everyone love romance?

John and I went to an engagement party on Saturday night, for Marty the mouth and his long term girlfriend Amy Rush…

We’d been there about ten minutes and John whispered to me, “There’s going to be a wedding here tonight!” Now my radar is usually pretty good for that sort of stuff but it must have been off Saturday Night because lots of people were on to them…but not me….

There was lots of clues, John picked Marty’s shoes – thought they were too shiny for an engagement party – Carol was interested in the three piece suit Marty was wearing – someone else noticed there was an official photographer – a bit over the top for an engagement…

Anyway – they were right – and I promised to admit on the air this morning that I have obviously lost my touch!!!

It was an absolutely lovely ceremony – long term mix listeners will remember Marty the Mouth – he used to be our mad footy tipper up against Ben Ikin in the NRL…

I remember when he first met Amy – came in to work and said a beautiful young girl had asked him out for lunch – we thought Amy was just being polite…

He’s obviously won her over though – it’s obvious they make each other very happy and it was a pleasure to be with them as they tied the knot! (and they’re off today for a honeymoon in Montville…so look out for them)

xx

Loved to death!

Is it just me or does everyone feel very sad for that poor (not so) little darling being loved to death by his Mum and Grandma in England?

8 year old Connor McCreadie weighs about one hundred kilos. He lives on a diet of meat and chips and chocolate biscuits. His Mum Nicola claims Connor demands to be fed every 20 minutes, that so far he’s broken four beds, six toilet seats and five bikes.

Connor has early onset arthritis, he is unable to wash himself unaided and because he can’t walk very far, rarely goes to school. That’s how he came to the attention of the authorities in the first place…

When questioned by the media, Nicola said even if he was put on a diet, Connor will trantrum and end up stealing chips and biscuits….why were those sort of foods in the house at all? According to Nicola, shopping is difficult, because they are limited to only buying the foods that Connor likes.

This week authorities have been debating whether Connor should be put into foster care until he loses weight.

I honestly think they’ve got it all wrong. It’s Nicola that needs care. A short intense training camp where there is only one lesson, the true value of the word ‘no’.

As with anything in life, if you want you can blame stranger danger, fast food, advertising on television or even the government for the fact your kids fat….but at the end of the day there is only one answer.

8 year olds don’t do the shopping and if there is nothing in the house they shouldn’t eat….chances are they will lose weight.

They might chuck a wobbly – it might last for weeks – but all that screaming and yelling burns calories…