Letter to Santa
Is it just me or has everyone been a good mum all year?
I lifted this letter to Santa off the internet….
Dear Santa, here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any colour, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the lolly aisle at the supermarket. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays grown up music; a television that refuses to broadcast any programs containing talking animals.
On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because it seems my voice can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare tomato sauce a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely..
Well, Santa,
Help yourself to biscuits on the table, but try not to leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
Mum
I lifted this letter to Santa off the internet….
Dear Santa, here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any colour, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze, but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the lolly aisle at the supermarket. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays grown up music; a television that refuses to broadcast any programs containing talking animals.
On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight, and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because it seems my voice can only be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare tomato sauce a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely..
Well, Santa,
Help yourself to biscuits on the table, but try not to leave crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always,
Mum
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home