How old am I?
Is it just me or does everyone love a GREAT gag?
This was sent to me by Roslyn Langford of Coolum Beach...
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she
stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the sales assistant, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32?"
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops into a chemist on her
way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some jelly beans
and asks the girl this burning question.
The girl responds, "Oh, I'd say about 30."
Again the woman proudly responds,
"I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an
old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets
the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he
gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his
hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50!"
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in McDonald's."
This was sent to me by Roslyn Langford of Coolum Beach...
A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spends
$15,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home, she
stops at a newsagents to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the sales assistant, "I hope you don't mind my
asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32?"
"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter
girl the very same question.
The girl replies, "I'd guess about 29."
The woman replies with a big smile, "Nope, I'm 50."
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops into a chemist on her
way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get some jelly beans
and asks the girl this burning question.
The girl responds, "Oh, I'd say about 30."
Again the woman proudly responds,
"I'm 50, but thank you!"
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an
old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was
young, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds
very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra.
Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets
the best of her. She finally blurts out, "What the hell, go ahead."
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel
around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he
gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs
them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, "Okay,
okay...How old am I?"
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his
hands, and says, "Madam, you are 50!"
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, "That was incredible, how could you tell?"
The old man says, "Promise you won't get mad?"
"I promise I won't." she says.
"I was behind you in McDonald's."
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